We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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