We should be called the Road Head Warriors
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
