Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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