I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
