Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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