I'd wear matching sweaters with you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
