Yo dont text me then not text me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
