I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
