butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize