i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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