here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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