i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
