I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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