It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
