Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
