So drunk its hurt
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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