Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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