I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
