you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
