I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
