good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize