be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize