Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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