I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
