Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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