STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
