How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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