11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
