...so i touched it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
