Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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