So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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