I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
