He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
