OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
