Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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