My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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