grandma shit on top of the toilet
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
