I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He did a backflip because drugs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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