I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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