I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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