I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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