I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
