Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
