Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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