new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
