trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
