Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
