Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
