she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
