does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
