And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
