sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
