So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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