I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
