I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
