Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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