thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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