You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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