I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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