I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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