i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
