Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
