More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize