How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
should my penis look like a turkey
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't trust your balls anymore.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
