Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
