I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
honey bunches of taint.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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